Another lengthy post

“Often it is the most deserving peoplewho cannot help loving those who destroy them.”

Ignorance is a bliss because if you don’t know anything, it can’t hurt you. Back to when we just started to walk and talk,  we are ourselves and we get along easily. As we age, the further we lose ourselves, and hide ourselves because the fear of others. As we grow more mature, we become increasingly aware of pain and sufferings, we know about how wrong is the world, and how we lose our innocence compare to ourselves when we are still a child.

Veritas vincit omnia, truth reveals all. When we don’t meet up with our life’s expectation, we will hopefully get some comfort from someone, somewhere, sometime in fantasy-land. Let’s suck up. Deep down at the core, we know nobody will ever understand you completely. It is mentally and biologically impossible. So, you can only speak of yourself. You go on thinking about you, talking about you and do things about you. The world just suddenly revolves around you.

The things you know about others, the ways to communicate then the part where people comprehend will always be distorted. The ugly truth is there is no such thing as perfect trust. Much of our life is directed by things preceding us , therefore out of our control. We will always be polluted by public discourse. Don’t tell me you don’t look or judge others. Hence, superego. You think you can handle all the things people talk or think about you but perspectives and living are epheremal and temporary. Again, there is no perfect truth. Maybe math.

You will always be irrational because everything is illogical. There is no logic. One person might think that way and you might thing elsewhere. It’s irrational because 50% of the readers will agree to this and 50% might find this crap. Thus, we explain by how our emotions always interefere with our sense of truth. It’s like your heart is at your buttocks. Your emotion gets you to do shitty things. What will other people think of you now? Life is nothing but layers of visible and invisible cliche’s and story lines. You get painful stories about you, we are ultimately subject to talks, natural selection, laws of accelerating returns.

Slowly, you realises what people tell you or how others view you will inevitably affect you in one way or another. There is no event or action that is completely beneficial for you to overcome it. We should all just practice the way of tao, meaning, not doing anything at all because by doing something, we disturb the universe, the enviroment , our life. Surely, we will do something because our head and heart are somewhere where it isn’t , literally. With that, we will always be an agent of some evil. You will be the vehicle of stupid actions  that are equally as inane as the sin of others, unconsciously of course. There is no absolute good actions. You will never precisely do what you are suppose to do. There is always so much more beyond your awareness because everything is not seemed but is impossible.

Looking at the bright side, you will always be part of the existing process. Yes! People know you exist. People not knowing you, sees you at least. So, you will be a natural fake. At some point, you know faking it doesn’t satisfy you. You know everything people think about you is not how you think of yourself. Duh. Other words, you have no total control.  You won’t be able to win them all. Someone will always hate you no matter what. Then, you started breaking down. You cannot escape your emotions. You cannot forget the past. Something will always haunt you. Some things you will never get over. You will never get rid the world of evil and cruelty. Sadlyand finally, you will never reach your full potential.

I am accepting the fact that I cannot accept myself. I am only ignoring everything because I can’t accept anything.