There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven–
A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate; A time for war, and a time for peace.

– Ecclesiastes 3:1–8

if you think your family (m invasion) is horrible , u should see mine.

my mother wants me to move out because she cant stand me.  i can say the same for her. she is driving me up the wall. i am living in a madhouse. i just need peace to find myself again. one of her doesn’t-make-sense line ” if my life isn’t short , i most probably get too angry and die earlier than you” obviously id rather she die before me due to age difference.

wonderful traumatic experience. she threw my book , send them flying over the stairs. great , she throw the toy godric give to me. ah well. i didnt response to any of this madness, thank god.  i was just traumatize as any child would.

today , i cant drive to school because she don’t want me to use the car. guess what? i was keep out of my own house because she went to the patho lab without giving me house keys. just great , i need to use the bathroom and i was suffering mild gastric because its 1 pm and i haven’t eat anything since last night. i walk around the neighborhood , thinking i could take a look at their house plants. i ended up eating ais kacang at the nearby stall. I saw pn chan who lives nearer driving a car while i live so far and i walked. around 3 pm they reach home and they asked me to buy ais kacang. so all in all , i waited for 2 hours and the temperature outside is around 40 degree Celsius.

when i reach home , i put the ais kacang i bought in the fridge , i said this, “if there is an award for world’s worst mother , i would definitely nominate you.*sigh*

Sincerely

Tell me. What is the most important factor in choosing a carrier?

A. High Salary

B. Personal interest

C. Good working environment

D. Future Prospect

Its been awhile since I write like this. Last night , I talked to Claire over msn. “I feel that my dreams are too high, too difficult to archive.” Claire , like I told you before , you inspired me in a lot of ways. I think I will never stop being envious of you. You continually proved that you are estimable. Seriously , I feel like a lost cause. Everything is not going my way, even I put in my effort and believe that things will turn alright. My dreams , my love , my family , my school and my friends had turned me down. “You don’t wanna look back 50 years from now and think of what you could have done.” You made me think that my future is all dark and scary. No dreams , no love , no family , no school and no friends. It makes me feel lifeless. All in all , it completely drained me of all strength. I really lose it again. I sobbed. I cried. I invoked God in times of trouble.

Next morning , I almost sleep in. Almost until I remembered today I have biology practical. Nothing is more exciting than bio practical. ( I hop out of bed ) The day started off just fine. I found something different in one of my slides. I reviewed some of the seniors herbarium. I am like in awe. I get to play around after break in the auditorium. After that, we got our PA papers. “This is my first time I get 13/15″ I said that to Joel who actually feel bad ,having lower marks than me. Awhile after that , we received our “lost”math test paper. When I was coming out of the staff room , I dropped by and told him, “Teacher , you just make my day happier. The first question especially.”

And I ate chicken rice for lunch. What a lucky day. I said this to Shaun : “dun wanna waste my felix potion” So , I went out to collect some plants for herbarium. Sitting under the mango tree , laid back , feeling the wind , hear the bees buzzing above my head , hear the birds chirping away and newspaper laid on the mosses covered ground. Around 3 , I went to school and played badminton.

I sprained my ankle a little and decided to have a look in the prefect’s night interview. When I reach the auditorium , the interview had already ended. That was the time I think my luck change. Safazuan and his mate was playing the guitar and singing to the song. “Its ok…its ok…its okk…seasons are changing , waves are crashing and stars are falling over the rust….” and I commented “I hate that song because my ex sang it to me” and walked out of the room.

In my way back , I had two cars honk me. I hit the telephones line.

I spent my evening sleeping. Then , out of the blue , my phone rang. I thought he called so I answered the phone. The caller didn’t answer my “hello?” I look back on my phone screen. “Ric^^” Oh boy , no wonder something is not right. “You cried because of him didn’t you” –Shaun

Me : You’ve never entirely let go of her.

Shaun : I could say the same for you.

Me : I hate it ok.

***

“I wish I can tell him not to spoil my day. Today is the best day i ever had.” –Me

If you’re lost you can look

(Cyndi Lauper, Rob Hyman)

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion -
Is nothing new
Flashback – warm nights -
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories,
Time after -

Sometimes you picture me -
I’m walking too far ahead
You’re calling to me, I can’t hear
What you’ve said -
Then you say – go slow -
I fall behind -
The second hand unwinds

Chorus:
If you’re lost you can look – and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you – I’ll be waiting
Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows – you’re wondering
If I’m OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time -

Chorus:
If you’re lost…

You said go slow -
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds -

Chorus:
If you’re lost…
…Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
Time after time

Moments

I am an optimist.

 

I still believe in true love.

 

I still believe in magic.

 

I still believe in soul mates.

 ***

 

When we part ,

 

This is all we have ,

 

Moments.

 

Moments to remember.

***

 

Life hasn’t end yet ,

 

Why have moments?

 

When you can hold ,

 

When you can touch ,

 

When you can feel .